When I Kissed the Teacher
by ThisCouldTheoreticallyBeSparta
Summary: Sirius Black is in love with his Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher... AU, PoA


b**WHEN I KISSED THE TEACHER**/b

Author: Pixie-Rings

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Remus/Sirius

Genre: songfic, AU, cross-gen, I suppose

Rating: R for themes contained herein?

Disclaimer: Belongs to J.K Rowling. If I were her, I'd be rich, which is a reason not to sue me. I own nothing except the clothes on my back, the glasses on my face and the cats on my sofa.

Warning: some cross-gen teacher crushing

Summary: Sirius Black is in love with his Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher...

A/N: just for fun, really. Plot bunny molested me while I was listening to _When I kissed The Teacher_ by ABBA. This would be set in PoA if it was canon, with Sirius as an sixteen-year-old fifth year and Remus in his usual DADA post... Sirius, the twins and Lee are friends, btw. I imight/i do a sequel, if you don't squick and you want... Also, I remember this being a prompt isomewhere/i, but for the life of me I can't recall. Can someone give me the link?

b**xxXxXxx**/b

i_Everybody screamed_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_And they must have thought they dreamed_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_All my friends at school_

_They had never seen the teacher blush he looked like a fool_

_Nearly petrified 'cause he was taken by surprise_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_Couldn't quite believe his eyes_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_My whole class went wild_

_As I held my breath, the world stood still, but then he just smiled_

_I was in the seventh heaven_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_One of these days_

_Gonna tell him I dream of him every night_

_One of these days_

_Gonna show him I care_

_Gonna teach him a lesson alright_

_I was in a trance_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_Suddenly I took the chance_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_Leaning over me, he was trying to explain the laws of geometry_

_And I couldn't help it, I just had to kiss the teacher_

_One of these days_

_Gonna tell him I dream of him every night_

_One of these days_

_Gonna show him I care_

_Gonna teach him a lesson alright_

_What a crazy day_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_All my sense had flown away_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_My whole class went wild_

_As I held my breath, the world stood still, but then he just smiled_

_I was in the seventh heaven_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_(I wanna hug, hug, hug him)_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_(I wanna hug, hug him)_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_(I wanna hug, hug, hug him)_

_When I kissed the teacher_

_(I wanna hug, hug him)_

_When I kissed the teacher_/i

b**xxXxXxx**/b

"Black, i_are you listening_/i?"

Professor Lupin leaned over Sirius, his expression frustrated, textbook he'd been reading from in hand. Sirius just stared, lost in his hazel eyes, and he couldn't resist.

For ages now, for some obscure reason, Professor Remus J. Lupin had a wonderful, giddying, delicious effect on Sirius. He was good-looking, not handsome, but Sirius didn't care for blokes who were as handsome as himself. His voice made Sirius shudder, whether he was explaining non-verbal spells or laughing along with a joke Sirius had cracked just to get his attention. Sirius's thoughts focused 24/7 on his charming teacher. He hadn't told any of his friends - they would have found it weird - that his night time fantasies and sexual dreams were about being in his arms, kissed, touched, caressed, taken.

And now, it had welled up enough. He'd been staring absently all lesson, watching the movement of his mouth, that bottom lip slightly fuller than the top one, as he read and explained the intricate curses that were the subject of this lesson. The way the pale, wintry January light slanted into the classroom and fell on his face, illuminating it and putting that one scar on his cheek in stark relief. How Sirius wanted to kiss it...

He'd lost himself quite soon in some wonderful fantasy of having a one on one detention and it generating into something else... A fantasy that soon morphed into a plan. He could easily drop Dungbombs when he was around, and earn a detention...

He'd ignored Lee nudging him to get his attention, trying to get him to notice he was being asked a question, and now Professor Lupin was leaning over him, frowning. So close, so tempting...

"Honestly, Black, you can't pass your NEWTs just on luck you kn- MPH!"

Sirius's lips pressed to the teacher's, uncaring of the shrieks and yells that erupted, ignoring the twins, next to Lee, with their laughter, and Lee's groan. Oh, Professor Lupin tasted even better than he'd ever imagined, lips soft and answering his on autopilot...

Sirius pulled back, licking his lips and looking at him nervously, holding his breath. This was sure to earn him more than a detention and lost points... Professor Lupin's eyes were wide, his face flaming, staring at Sirius as if he was all he'd ever wanted. Around them hoots and wolf-whistles and giggling. Professor Lupin then, to his delight and relief, licked his lips and smiled, and cleared his throat.

"Right, that's enough!" He barked to the class. "Forty points from Gryffindor, Black, and a week's worth of detentions-"

"With you, Professor?" Sirius asked hopefully. Everyone laughed and even Professor Lupin smiled despite his gallant effort to regain some degree of authority.

"We'll see about that." He said, and there were several 'ooohs' and louder giggles.

"Really, i_that's enough_/i! Now, can anyone tell me how to defend oneself from the Canden Curse? He demanded.

The last fifteen minutes of lesson passed too fast. Sirius was still grinning when the bell rang and Lee and the twins managed to drag him to lunch. He waved goodbye to Professor Lupin, who was packing his briefcase.

"See you in detention, Professor!" He called cheekily. Professor Lupin looked at him, and there was something breathtakingly unfathomable in that look. Sirius's heart skipped the proverbial beat and he knew, beyond all else, that Professor Lupin felt exactly the same way he did.


End file.
